Wonderland in Nairobi

I don’t want to play favorites and all, but Neema and Leo’s wedding may take the top spot. Perhaps it was the newness of it all, or it could have been the mere fact that I was in Africa, but of all the weddings I’ve been to, on this trip and before, this may be the most fun I’ve ever had at a wedding. I think the main reason this wedding was so fun was the fact that everyone else was having a ball. There was a palpable joy at the wedding that showed in every smile, dance step, and burst of laughter. It started with Neema and Leo and infected virtually everyone else, myself included. Almost unconsciously, I smiled until my cheeks were sore at the end of the day.

The wedding was to be held outdoors, and there was a real fear that we would have rain in Nairobi. It had rained for almost the entire week, and there was no guarantee that it would not be the same on Saturday. There was indeed some gloom in the morning when we woke up, but by the time we made it to Neema’s house for the traditional picking up of the bride, the sun had broken through the clouds and the sky was looking beautifully blue; Neema and Leo would have nice weather.
Which was good, because Neema’s house required a drive through less than stellarly-maintained dirt roads which would have turned into mud with the rain. It would have wreaked havoc on all of the plans, but as it was, Neema, her bridesmaids, and her family were able to walk out the house and up the hill with no trouble at all. Like Son and Trang’s wedding, the pre-ceremony picking up of the bride is an important part of the day’s proceedings. Leo’s family and friends drove over to Neema’s house, where she and her family were waiting. The female members of Leo’s family then went to the front door of Neema’s house and began singing “knock, knock, can we come in?” in Swahili. They continued to sing until Neema came out of the house. Once she did, the procession began marching up the hill outside Neema’s house to the cars waiting at the top. Everyone involved with the wedding got back into their respective cars for the drive to the venue, while the rest of the many people gathered to watch (mostly curious community members and children) were left to stare at the disappearing convey of cars.

I have to say here that I am a big fan of the idea of family members going to pick up the bride for the wedding. There’s something special about the process that involves the two families having a common goal and creating a shared experience right at the start. The respect paid to the parents through this process is also quite nice. Obviously I will have to consult the future Mrs. Pan, but I am pretty sure that I want to do this at my own wedding. I would love to have my groomsmen and my family go to pick up my future wife from her family. Who knows if could happen, but it would be nice.

The ceremony took place at the Karen Blixen Coffee Gardens, which is a well-known tourist attraction because it was home to the author of “Out of Africa” for twenty years in the early 20th century. The venue was beautiful, and the weather perfect. The clouds protected us from the strongest sunshine most of the day, which was good since the ceremony lasted two hours. While you would expect a two hour ceremony to be painful, it was in fact not. Punctuated by singing, prayer, vows, and poetry, it was fun, entertaining, and heartwarming. Yet the reception afterwards was where the real fun was. Good, hearty, Kenyan food was accompanied by singing, chanting, dancing, and performances. Dozens of guests got up and danced together as amazing singers and musicians from Neema and Leo’s church (he’s a worship pastor at a local congregation) played – for lack of a better way of describing it and for fear of sounding ignorant – African praise music with deep beats and rhythm. I couldn’t figure out how the steps went, but I was in the circle, moving around and taking pictures, and I had the time of my life.

Truth be told, the wedding was not what I was expecting. It was, in many ways, more western than I pictured. The wedding dress, the flowers, the ceremony, the reception – all of it was familiar. Yet at the same time, the activities and the energy was uniquely Kenyan. It was just so much fun, and there was so much joy there. It made me think of how much more reserved (in general) our weddings are and how we seem to have lost some of the community and celebratory feel that I think a wedding should have. In fact, all three of the weddings I have been to so far have been quite fun. Even Kath and Danny’s wedding, which is the most western, was infused with their unique humor and sensibilities (the university references in their vows was especially appreciated) and more tongue in cheek than most. I know it’s a long way off, but I hope I can figure out a way to have that same fun whenever I have my own wedding.