Buddies and Bubbles

I have for the most part traveled almost entirely on my own. I usually set off by myself, set my own course, and am then responsible for only myself. There have been a few exceptions to this – a month here with one person, or a month there with a group, but the vast majority of my travels have been as a solitary wanderer. This does not, of course, mean that I am always alone – on the contrary, I find that as a solo traveler it is often easier to meet people. You are more likely to strike up conversations with others, and they with you. Being in a group can often limit your chances of meeting people either because you are busy socializing with your friends, or because groups can be intimidating for others to approach. Indeed, a decent number of the people that I now know around the globe are friends that I met and then traveled with for a period of time on my trips.

Over the course of the last few years and my various trips on my own, I’ve developed quite a comfortable and workable routine. I remember once describing to a friend who asked me how I managed to move and adjust to so many different places that I essentially had a little bubble of comfort that I brought with me and lived in, in each place. Small things like sheets, pillows, my computer, favorite soaps and shampoos, and maybe something familiar like a mug or a little memento can help make any temporary accommodation feel more like home. It is the same way with traveling for me. I know what I like and what I don’t like, what level of danger I am comfortable with, what risks and hardships I am willing to expose myself to. In short, I feel like a well-oiled travel machine.

Thus, it was with both trepidation and excitement that I approached this trip, to be done with one of my best friends from high school. Young will readily admit that he doesn’t have that much travel experience, and certainly he hasn’t traveled in rough, developing country terrain like Africa before. It was going to be rough going for him no matter what – but traveling with me and my little go-anywhere bubble has likely been a challenge he wasn’t anticipating. At the same time, my bubble has been ill-prepared for the inclusion of another person also, even if it is someone I’ve known for years. Thus, I have to be honest and say that things have not gone nearly as smoothly as I had hoped and had expected. As a number of my friends have said, sometimes it really is easier to travel alone.

However (corny alert!) in the journey of life, traveling alone is often just not an option. It may be difficult to travel with someone else, but the benefits – with the right perspective – can be large, and I’m not talking about just saving money or having someone to blame for the smell of dirty clothes that overtook the bus when you got on. No, instead I mean that traveling with someone can actually teach you (or remind you) about yourself, both the good and the bad, that may be forgotten or invisible to you when you’re in your little world bubble. For example – I have trained myself to be a very observant traveler, constantly paying attention to and aware of what is going on around me. I have not had the chance to train myself though for traveling with people who are not similarly observant and my general impatience makes me easily frustrated when the person next to me failed to see that distant road-sign warning of on-coming geese in 1.362 kilometers. It can get pretty difficult for all the parties involved.

The fact is, everyone does things differently, and I’ve realized that I have a hard time incorporating other people’s ways of doing things into my own. This of course can lead to some uncomfortable situations and travel relationships that are less collaborative and more authoritarian – never good for friends of peers. This has probably been the greatest benefit of having a travel buddy for me - it is almost like having a mirror through which to view your own travel bubble. Except that with time, the travel bubble that I’ve built up exists well beyond when I travel; it has become my way of life, second nature. The danger is, spending too much time in my bubble by myself makes it hard for me to really let someone else into that bubble or to merge it with someone else’s bubble; potential trouble for finding and keeping the future Mrs. Pan.