Just sayin.....

There is a nice and surprising sort of camaraderie amongst people who like taking pictures. Picture people are curious about each other and the cameras they use. As often as I catch others stealing furtive glances at my camera, I sneak peeks at theirs. Sometimes this leads to a conversation; other times just a friendly smile. This is how I met Don and James, two young local Filipinos who were taking pictures at Caracol - a big annual dance competition held here in Makati City, where groups from local schools elementary to university put together massive six minute dance routines to about specific theme (this year it was “Saving Mother Earth.”)

I was carrying my 50mm because it’s the lightest and I had no idea I’d run into a big event where I’d need a telephoto. Don looked at my camera and lens dubiously, and when I smiled, he asked me what lens I was using – in Tagalog, something I get a lot here. I’m not sure exactly why – darker skin tone, higher incidence of pinoys with long hair? – but a good amount of people think I’m Filipino. It took Don a second to realize that his question was pure gibberish to me. Then he quickly switched to English (it’s amazing that most Filipinos are equally capable in Tagalog and English, and many actually use an intriguing hybrid language composed of liberal doses of both) and asked me again. From there, we struck up a conversation, exchanged phone numbers, and agreed to go out shooting one day.

I mention all of this because we did indeed go out shooting this past weekend. James, Don, his girlfriend, and a friend I had visiting. At the end of the day, we did the requisite Facebook exchange thing. (Trust me, the fact that I’ve gone from being a principled Facebook holdout to an unmitigated Facebook whore does not escape me.) In any case, Don friends me and then writes me a message. “Man, If I knew the real reason for traveling I would have bombarded you with questions” he says. “Like, don't you think your lifestyle is the main factor why you haven't found the right girl yet? You've been traveling around so much that you don't get the sufficient amount of time to ‘meet’ someone.. just saying...”

Yeah, “just saying” eh? But, he is totally correct. I keep asking myself this same question: how am I supposed to meet someone when I’m never in one place long enough to really develop a relationship with them? I’m not saying that chance meetings that lead to amazing relationships don’t happen. Serendipity, fate, coincidence – whatever you call it, it does happen. Haven’t you seen the movie?

There’s a whole group of people who have faith in this notion of “you’re most likely to find it when you’re not looking.” I’ve tried it. Gone about ignoring everyone and walking around all day with my iPod blasting in my ears. It’s not worked out so well for me. I’ve also tried a less absolute version of it, where I keep my eyes open on planes, on buses, in coffee shops – similar results. So, now, I figure I should change tacts. I know that you can’t force things, but you’ve got to at least put yourself in a situations where you can meet people right?

Yet, as I found out when I stayed in California this past year, this requires not just a substantial investment of time and energy, but also some stability in your life. It’s hard to even begin to contemplate something long-term when long-term is measured in weeks. As Don pointed out, moving around definitely does not help. Heck, even if I did meet the right person, would I stay in one place long enough to know it? Would whoever I meet be okay with the instability brought about by my lifestyle? Would we be forced to do something long distance? I’m not sure about any of those answers, but I figure I’ve got to keep the faith. After all, two of the four couples that I’m seeing get married on this trip met while they were living somewhere - temporarily.